After a cup of tea, I wandered up the heights behind. In these vast solitudes peace and joy came hand in hand to meet me. The extreme loneliness, especially when I was out of sight of the sea at last, and could hear no more the calling of the tide, and only the sough of the wind, was like balm. Ah, those eloquent silences: the deep pain-joy of the utter isolation: the shadowy glooms and darkness and mystery of night-fall among the mountains.
- William Sharp
Many times in my life, and in many different places, I have found myself walking at twilight down streets lined with gently stirring trees and old silent houses. On such lulling occasions things seem firmly situated, quietly settled and exceedingly present to the natural eye […]. But other realms are always capable of making their presence felt […]. - Thomas Ligotti In the Shadow of Another World
Have you ever stopped for a while when walking through a lonely street deep in the middle of the night? Sometimes when there is no wind such a place can have its wonders. All the sounds are reduced to a deep remote moaning, barely audible or even hardly recognizable. Suddenly, you realize your eyes cannot detect even the slightest movement on the surrounding pavements or behind the black curtained window panes. There seems to be no one to help you in case anything happens, but since for a while the whole world has gone dead and no one seems to exist, it looks like no danger is lurking behind your back. Perhaps you would agree with me that, although such a stroll would be rather disquieting, there is some beauty in the way it affects you, but… then maybe, it’s only me who thinks of it this way.
The first time I have been transfixed by this uncanny, yet somehow liberating experience was some 5 years ago when I studied in Spain. After the long street parties (el botellon) on Friday nights I used to go back home on foot, because there was no other way to return in the early-morning hours. Seville, where I lived, is a very unique place. Being an Andalusian city it is characteristic for its hot windless summers and narrow winding streets roamed at weekend nights by open-minded whiskey-drinkers and hashish-smokers. These and many other of its special features may have a mesmerizing effect on such a nightly flaneur as me. ;) The next time I happened to experience such an unforgettable sensation was this summer thanks to lucid dreaming. Whenever I realized I’m dreaming within a dream I would let myself get carried away by the dream’s random “plot”. Since the dreamer when dreaming lucidly thinks in a very logical way (in comparison with when in a normal dream) one is perfectly aware of the fact that in his dream he is momentarily a part of a world that is artificial – he is in a dream-maze fabricated by his own imagination where the only “residents” are mere dream characters. Everything becomes still and silent, the world is converted into a maze of numberless realities that are infinitely stretched in all possible dimensions. Sounds absurd? In short, what I wanted to tell you is that in your lucid dreams you know very well that you are perfectly alone, surrounded by something unimaginably huge and at the same time you know you are safe. If you accept this temporal status quo, the sensation of the uncanny but peaceful solitude can become a transcendental experience. Well, I also remember some other experiences in my life when I was unexpectedly struck by this deeply touching feeling, but let me tell you about it next time. Meanwhile, leave a message and tell me if I’m mad. ;)
Labels: literature, lucid dreaming |
